IDK what people usually put here but here's some random stuff. 

FIRST DAY AT EVERY NEW JOB 

"WHY DON'T YOU TELL US ABOUT YOURSELF IN FRONT OF THIS GIANT GROUP OF STRANGERS?"

ME:

What's in a name?

When I was in my 20s, I insisted that people call me "Jessica" at work, even though up until then only my grandmother called me Jessica. Everyone else called me Jessie or Jess. For whatever reason, I was convinced that "Jessica" made me sound more ✨sophisticated.✨ (Even though I am clearly a Jessie. Jessie's your gal pal! Jessie will tag along while you run errands! Jessie tells her life story to the cashier at Kroger!)

Then, while in my "Jessica" persona I met a cute boy at work and that cute boy turned into my husband and to this day he refers to me as Jessica—and so does his entire family. Meanwhile, literally every other person in my life calls me Jessie. 

Moral of the story: Always be yourself, or you'll spend your life looking around wildly when your own husband says your name.